Posts tagged married to an addict in recovery
Promising Tips For Healing Your Heart

The storms we go through change us. They’re supposed to. Our exterior may or may not remain the same, but our interior will undoubtedly shift. While change is imminent, it’s the condition of our heart that determines HOW the storm changes us.

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One Woman's Inspiring Testimony of Addiction Recovery

Hello! Could you please tell us your name and where you’re from?

Hi! I'm Mariah Freeman and I am from upstate New York but now live in southern VA.

We met through a Facebook group and I instantly connected with you on account of your story. Could you touch on that for us?

Yes! So blessed to bump into you there:) I am very open about my story, so sharing with the group was really fulfilling for me. So glad you stopped to listen and then we connected shortly after that.

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How to Find Hope and Healing on the Recovery Roller Coaster

The recovery process is a rollercoaster. 

There’s an expectation that when the addiction stops, so do the issues. Now that the dreaded addiction is gone, your life can go back to normal. The problem is, there is no “normal” anymore.  After addiction, your normal is “dysfunctional”. Normal is “messy”. Normal is “chaos”. Normal is “fighting”. Normal is “tension”. Normal is “mistrusting”. Normal is “out of control”. 

Is it possible for life to be normal after addiction?

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Better Beauty, The Christian Gal's Guide to Self-Care

It can be damaging trying to get through a loved one's addiction without learning to practice self-care. If we aren't careful, we will come out much worse than how we went into it. The years of stress and worry will leave their marks behind and we will have little to show for our troubles. 

I'm sure you've heard it said that God can use anything for your good. But what is our responsibility in hard times? What part do we play in making sure that we are healthy, happy and whole? Is passing the buck and trusting God, enough?

Well... not completely. We've got to do our part!  

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"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

In my marriage, there have been many ups and downs. I'd love to say there have been more ups than downs but I feel like that may be a lie. But it's not like I have been feeling bad for all these years!

Do you know what I mean?

In addiction circles, they call this, “practicing detachment” which essentially means we aren’t allowing the decisions and actions of others to affect our mood, thoughts and feelings. 

I teach a lesson on detachment in my eCourse on how to make good, Godly boundaries. The course, 'UnBound Me', is currently being updated and will be relaunched later in 2018 but today, I’d like to talk more in-depth about detachment.

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Hygge, Minimalism and the Art of Letting Go

For quite a few years now, I have been learning more and more about minimalism. I’ll preempt this by saying that I’m not a true minimalist by any means however I’m also not a huge consumer and have no problem getting rid of what I, or my family, doesn’t need. 

 

My journey of “letting go” began with clothing long before minimalism was a “thing”. 

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Dear Diary: Stuck in the Muddy Mess of Recovery

Hello, there!

If you've been following along in The Grey Diaries series, you'll know that my husband was set to come home from treatment and I was pretty nervous! This diary entry is a few months post-treatment and we're trying to work things out, or rather, I'm trying to work things out and my husband trying to deal with it! 

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When is the Right Time to Leave an Addict? (Part One)

The trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, they’re human beings that we care about or have a history with. 

In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, “Intervention” (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they won’t go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.

As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see. 

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Don't Allow Trouble to Uproot Your Faith

Everything belongs to God. The roof over our heads, the food in our pantries, the clothes in our drawers; It is His. 

“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.”

-1 Chronicles 29:11-12 (ESV)

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What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse.  Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive.  Knowing the difference is helpful.  Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.  

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Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself? 

Tell me if this sounds like you, 

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”. 

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat! 

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Dear Diary: Sail Away With Me

I am so up and down emotionally. Sometimes, I feel bad for my husband because he has been broken. It's like he's a sinking ship of a human being. It isn’t his fault the ship hit a storm. It's also not his fault he doesn't have the know-how to repair his sinking vessel. On the other hand, he took the children and me onboard as passengers without first disclosing there was a giant hole in the ship. He painted a beautiful, sunny, blissful, dream-like picture of what our cruise would be like. We board the boat and BOOM! The storm hits.

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