As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.Read More
This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to.
I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.Read More
"You're not listening to me!”
“No, you don’t understand.”
“Can you put yourself in my shoes for just three [Un-Christian word] seconds?!”
“Ah! Never mind! I don’t even know why I try explaining to you, it’s useless!”
These are the things I find myself saying to my husband over and over again. As he fumbles and bumbles and tries to understand my range of complex emotions stemming from childhood wounds to the scars from our relationship to the present situation. He doesn’t know what to say and I know it.Read More
When you have a loved one struggling with an addiction it can be really tough to find the right resources. There's a lot out there! Over the years, I've received both good and bad advice but every time I looked for help, the best advice usually found in books. That could be because I'm more comfortable reading a book than talking to a human being but with young kids, it can tough to find time to read!Read More
Blonde hair, blue eyes and a wealth of talent. She was my first born; Beautiful, funny, smart and excelled at anything she put her mind to from track and field, dance and figure skating. She had a beautiful voice and sang like an angel. She had the drive and determination of an Olympic athlete. She could have done anything she wanted but ended up doing none of the things she dreamed of because deep inside her lived a little girl who felt unworthy.Read More
Here we go again. I don't know if I'm ranting and rambling on or if my thoughts are some kind of trigger from warped perspective but regardless I have plenty to say.
Here I am. New York City. Watching people chase their dreams while I sit idly by. What are you expected to do when you're doing nothing? Find something to do, right? Yet, I feel blocked, surrounded by invisible walls I likely created.
Whack! Strikes of pain shot through my butt as we slammed into yet another pothole. I moaned softly, strained my neck against the window and lifted my eyes to the flaking roof of the van. When would we get there? Or rather, the more pertinent question: when was I going to get there? Emotionally, physically… spiritually. I sighed and turned my head to watch the billows of dust surface in our erratic wake.Read More
What's My Family Member's Life Like?
The best way to describe how it feels to have a loved one battling addiction is: isolating.
It’s hard to relate to other people because your life is chaotic and spinning around an unhealthy, unpredictable person. It’s hard to make commitments, like volunteering for church activities or children’s school trips, because you’re overwhelmed and never know what will happen from day to day. Going to work to deal with a whole other set of problems can be a relief if you get yourself motivated to go but some days, it’s too much to handle.Read More
Thursday, June 20th, 2013
I saw a quote once in a magazine by Calista Flockhart that always stuck with me; she said, "The way the world underestimates me will be my greatest weapon". I could see how she would be underestimated. I'm certain throughout her school years she was skinny, small and likely awkward. With her baby-fine hair and her bird-like features she would of matured awkwardly into the uniquely beautiful woman she is today.Read More
The time on the stove said, “11:13pm”. The lights were off in my parents living room, I was visiting them at the time. I was sitting in my father’s yellow easy-chair talking on the phone to my husband.
I swiveled around in circles in the yellow chair while my conversation with my husband spiraled out of control. He was back in New York, allegedly working. The problem was that every time I left him alone he seemed to forget he was a husband. While I was having family time in rural Ontario, Canada, he spent his days doing God only knows. I didn’t know where he was. That was the whole problem.Read More
I never thought I would get anxiety.
Growing up, I was one of those bubbly, almost-always happy little girls who found delight in chasing lightning bugs and drinking fresh lemonade on the back deck. I had fear like any child, especially when faced with being apart from my parents overnight, but I tended to live my life cheerful and smiling.Read More
For the month of August, we’re going to be talking about anxiety and how to combat it God’s way. I’ll be grouping anxiety disorders in with “non-disorder” anxiety for the purposes of this article, even though I realize they’re very different but because spiritually-speaking, the treatment is the same.
To prepare for the month ahead, I want to start by laying down a very basic understanding of anxiety.Read More