Why Do Good Girls Love Bad Boys?

Why Do Good Girls Love Bad Boys?

Do you remember that movie? My 1990’s self soaked that up like nothing. Angry girl bands. Cute guy with curly hair. Crop tops and sullen faces. Yes. I was all about it.

Explains a lot.

What is it about “the bad boys” that girls like so much? Is it their danger? Why is it that every bad boy, he gets that twinkle in his eye? He knows he’s good-looking. My four-year-old has it. Thankfully, he says he’s going to marry a mermaid who loves Jesus so I won’t have to worry about him. He’s going to be single forever!

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Six Signs the Abuse in Your Marriage is Escalating

Six Signs the Abuse in Your Marriage is Escalating

One of the real dangers of staying in an abusive marriage is that abuse generally escalates. Boundaries are nudged, pushed, and eventually outright challenged so that you find yourself submitting to abuse that would once be unthinkable. Humans acclimate to a wide variety of situations, but in an abusive marriage, this adaptability comes eventually at a severe cost. The first time I truly realized I was in an abusive marriage was about nine years into the marriage. Before I used the word ‘abusive’, I generally used the word ‘controlling’. No one likes to face the fact that they are abused.

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What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse.  Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive.  Knowing the difference is helpful.  Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.  

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The Day the Lord Set Me Free from My Marriage

The Day the Lord Set Me Free from My Marriage

Some might think that title is scandalous.  I know that my own fear of divorce kept me from escaping a narcissistic abuser for fourteen years.  Now, seventeen years out from that disaster, my regrets center around not leaving far earlier.  I lived in a lot of denial for years.  One has to cultivate denial in order to survive, much less stay, in a marriage that was as abusive as mine.  And just how abusive it was, did not fully dawn on me until I disclosed, ten years later, details of the torment to my counselor.  The look of horror and grief on her face showed me just how far from normal my first marriage had strayed.

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