Four Boundaries You Need to Make Your Home a Safe Place

Four Boundaries You Need to Make Your Home a Safe Place

The atmosphere of our home is important. In fact, I would encourage any woman reading this to make their home's atmosphere one of their steadfast boundaries and top priorities. The goalpost on personal boundaries can move as we figure out what’s reasonable and what's not or what worked and what didn’t. As far as the home is concerned, it’s best served as a place of refuge. If we have children, this is even more important!

I would bet that if you have a loved one actively addicted to something, you can feel the difference when they’re in the room. I’m sorry to say it, but that’s the enemy at work and entering your home through sin. You wouldn’t knowingly invite the devil in, so why allow him a seat at your table?

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Can You See the True Value of a Mother?

Can You See the True Value of a Mother?

Mother’s day is coming. 

Though I try to keep my expectations low, I cannot help but hope that this year will be the year I'm treated like the princess I’d like to be. The queen of the nest. The cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. In reality, mothers are more of a well-oiled factory than we are the shining star of the show. The world says the state of our product determines our efficiency- never mind, all our employees are treated like gold, given bonuses on holidays and enjoy their family Christmas party each year. No, the product (children!), which we have no control over, determines our value. 

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Has Your Parent Failed You? This Guy Never Will

Has Your Parent Failed You? This Guy Never Will

Things change and are different than they seem.  We lived a life that was not what people thought it was.  We weren’t who people saw when they looked at us, although to them, we were.  However, when we walked through the doors of the rehab hospitals, our looks matched where we were.  We mimicked the responses and the actions of those who sat in the circle around us. Some new, some seasoned and we were both at different times. Each time we entered, we were hardened a little more.  We appeared to have it all- nice clothes, nice cars, a nice house, but not a home and not a mother. 

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How to Use Essential Oils to Detox Your Life.

How to Use Essential Oils to Detox Your Life.

When it comes to health and beauty, the Bible is a handbook that is often overlooked. Essential oils are repeatedly mentioned in the Bible for uses such as aromatherapy, healing, cleansing and anointing. Even the Apostles used essential oils! When God created the Earth, He gave us everything we would need to live a healthy life as well as the tools to keep ourselves feeling fabulous while doing it!

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Better Beauty, The Christian Gal's Guide to Self-Care

Better Beauty, The Christian Gal's Guide to Self-Care

It can be damaging trying to get through a loved one's addiction without learning to practice self-care. If we aren't careful, we will come out much worse than how we went into it. The years of stress and worry will leave their marks behind and we will have little to show for our troubles. 

I'm sure you've heard it said that God can use anything for your good. But what is our responsibility in hard times? What part do we play in making sure that we are healthy, happy and whole? Is passing the buck and trusting God, enough?

Well... not completely. We've got to do our part!  

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"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

In my marriage, there have been many ups and downs. I'd love to say there have been more ups than downs but I feel like that may be a lie. But it's not like I have been feeling bad for all these years!

Do you know what I mean?

In addiction circles, they call this, “practicing detachment” which essentially means we aren’t allowing the decisions and actions of others to affect our mood, thoughts and feelings. 

I teach a lesson on detachment in my eCourse on how to make good, Godly boundaries. The course, 'UnBound Me', is currently being updated and will be relaunched later in 2018 but today, I’d like to talk more in-depth about detachment.

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The One Act Of Faith That Can Change Everything

The One Act Of Faith That Can Change Everything

Recently, I asked my husband if he knew why I stayed with him. We had been talking about “what he put me through” (he was saying he knew it had been a lot) and it struck me, I tell people all the time why I stayed- but had I ever told him? 

He thought for a moment and then for a good two minutes he went on about all of the reasons that he believed I stayed but it all boiled down to two sentiments: 

  1. I loved him
  2. I saw him as more than “an addict”
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Encouragement for When Words Have Hurt You

Encouragement for When Words Have Hurt You

“She is such a slut.”

“Have you noticed how much weight she’s gained? She’s gotten so fat.”

“She’s a horrible mom.”

“She thinks she’s so pretty, but she’s not. She’s ugly.”

“Her husband is such a loser. I can’t believe she is still with him.”

Ouch! Words really do hurt.

Past mistakes, debt, addiction and physical appearance are only a few of the factors that can influence our own personal self-evaluation, but our true value is found in the answer to this question: Who am I?

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How to Battle Satan from the Bedroom

How to Battle Satan from the Bedroom

Valentine's Day is approaching and with it can come a host of emotions and responses, depending on one’s love life. 

There’s the, “I LOVE Valentine’s Day!” women who always seem to get chocolates, flowers and dates. 

There’s the, “I HATE Valentine’s Day” women who never get chocolates, flowers or dates. 

There’s the neutral response, “It’s just another day” women who may have gotten chocolates, flowers or dates in the past, and may or may not this year, but it’s really not their thing. 

And then, there’s the rest of us.

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Dear Diary: Life Lessons from the Word

Dear Diary: Life Lessons from the Word

Hey, there! Welcome back to my monthly series, The Grey Diaries. If this is your first time here, once a month I post excerpts from my real journals in an effort to share the transformation I have gone on through my husband's struggle with addiction (and all the challenges that came after!). 

This is important because at the end of the day, the real message of Grey Ministries is that God can give us joy in any circumstance.

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Being Patient With God Through a Loved One's Addiction

Being Patient With God Through a Loved One's Addiction
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do...” -Luke 23:34 (KJV)

If you’ve ever had to suffer the wrath of the anger of an addict, you know the significance of this verse. 

There are times that we take the brunt of the anger. We are the punching bag. Verbally beaten down, ridiculed and mocked. We become the enemy of the one we love. 

And for what? Because we refused to give up on them? Refused to let them destroy themselves in their sinful squalor?

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Why We Need to Support a Loved One in their Mental Illness

Why We Need to Support a Loved One in their Mental Illness

Finding out you have a mental illness can be a tough pill to swallow. It can also provide relief and answers for those that have struggled with anxiety and depression.

“I’ve always felt like something in me is off, but it’s hard to explain”.

I remember hearing my husband speak those words to me a few times throughout the course of our marriage but I always brushed it off, “Everyone feels like that sometimes. I’m sure you’re fine” (I mean, we all have a little bit of crazy, right?!?).

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Hygge, Minimalism and the Art of Letting Go

Hygge, Minimalism and the Art of Letting Go

For quite a few years now, I have been learning more and more about minimalism. I’ll preempt this by saying that I’m not a true minimalist by any means however I’m also not a huge consumer and have no problem getting rid of what I, or my family, doesn’t need. 

 

My journey of “letting go” began with clothing long before minimalism was a “thing”. 

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New Day, New Year, New You!

New Day, New Year, New You!
"Oh Lord, I trust you. I am believing you're going to make a way in my situation and provide for my needs. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

Two days later... 

"Lord, I really don't know how you're going to do this. He is never going to change. I am broke! I mean, broke- broke. I am going to be left with nothing but debt and a husband who is probably cheating on me. Lord, will you tell me if he is cheating? Lord, if he has cheated on me- smite him! I pray he feels overwhelmed with guilt. And gets herpes. Just don't let me get it- thanks, God".
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