We’ve all seen the live-action version of the movie, The Grinch? Do you know the part where Cindy Lou Hoo sings “Where Are You Christmas?” It pulls on your heart strings a little because it’s easy to relate. Trials can change who we are as a person and transform our perspective if we allow it.Read More
Are you familiar with the comic strip “Keeping up with the Joneses”? It was written by Arthur (aka “Pop”) Momand and ran from approximately 1913 to 1938. This comic depicted the McGinis family struggling to keep up with the lifestyle of their neighbors, the Jones family (who are never actually seen in the comic). This comic popularized the catchphrase “Keeping up with the Joneses”, which refers to people’s tendency to judge their own social standing according to that of their neighbors.Read More
We climb the societal ladder claiming labels along the way. We think those things will make us happy, but we’re disappointed when we realize these labels cannot fulfill our hearts. In other ways, we look for wholeness. We may criticize our spouses because of everything they aren’t doing because we think we’d feel better if they did. Or, we criticize ourselves and make plans to lose weight or buy something we think will fill us up. Our unending cycle of searching only stops when we find God. Being a part of the Kingdom of Heaven is where we find true love and wholeness that the world can’t give.Read More
My son read, “Because of Winn Dixie” in school. Have you read it? I hadn't heard of it. I told him when he finished we would watch the movie together. What a great movie it was! I mean, a bit cheesy acting, but an excellent premise.
Sorry if this is all old news for you but it’s the first time I’d seen or heard of it.
One of the scenes really got to me. Gloria, a nearly blind older woman, took Opal to her tree filled with bottles to teach her a lesson on judgement and forgiveness.Read More
Once upon a time...
There was a girl. Her beautiful spirit and tender heart were qualities bestowed upon her by the King Himself. Like a rare bird, she soared through life never knowing what the day would bring nor worrying about it either.
She was free.Read More
Recently, I asked my husband if he knew why I stayed with him. We had been talking about “what he put me through” (he was saying he knew it had been a lot) and it struck me, I tell people all the time why I stayed- but had I ever told him?
He thought for a moment and then for a good two minutes he went on about all of the reasons that he believed I stayed but it all boiled down to two sentiments:
- I loved him
- I saw him as more than “an addict”
“She is such a slut.”
“Have you noticed how much weight she’s gained? She’s gotten so fat.”
“She’s a horrible mom.”
“She thinks she’s so pretty, but she’s not. She’s ugly.”
“Her husband is such a loser. I can’t believe she is still with him.”
Ouch! Words really do hurt.
Past mistakes, debt, addiction and physical appearance are only a few of the factors that can influence our own personal self-evaluation, but our true value is found in the answer to this question: Who am I?Read More
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do...” -Luke 23:34 (KJV)
If you’ve ever had to suffer the wrath of the anger of an addict, you know the significance of this verse.
There are times that we take the brunt of the anger. We are the punching bag. Verbally beaten down, ridiculed and mocked. We become the enemy of the one we love.
And for what? Because we refused to give up on them? Refused to let them destroy themselves in their sinful squalor?Read More
"Oh Lord, I trust you. I am believing you're going to make a way in my situation and provide for my needs. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"
Two days later...
"Lord, I really don't know how you're going to do this. He is never going to change. I am broke! I mean, broke- broke. I am going to be left with nothing but debt and a husband who is probably cheating on me. Lord, will you tell me if he is cheating? Lord, if he has cheated on me- smite him! I pray he feels overwhelmed with guilt. And gets herpes. Just don't let me get it- thanks, God".Read More
There is nothing I have ever experienced; not bullying, not divorce, not even addiction, that has made me feel more helpless than a panic attack. There is a moment where the waves of terror take over my body and hold my thoughts captive.
Though I know the panic attacks comes a resurgence of painful memories my body is the piece of me that loses control. In the midst of the attack, I can tell myself, “This isn’t real, it’s going to end, I will be able to breathe, everything is going to be okay” but I cannot convince my body to relax or find breath.Read More
Everything belongs to God. The roof over our heads, the food in our pantries, the clothes in our drawers; It is His.
“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.”
-1 Chronicles 29:11-12 (ESV)Read More
Living with a loved one in recovery is an entirely different thing than life in active addiction. Each season needs its own specific course of action and entirely different approach.When our loved ones are in active addiction everything from finances to their whereabouts is in question; "Who are they with? What are they doing? Why are they late? Who are they on the phone with? Why did they take their phone in the bathroom?"Read More
Welcome back to The Grey Diaries! If you're new here, this is a monthly series where I share my real journal entries through this experience with you. It's also the best place to find personal photos of my life for a true "behind-the-scenes" look. Don't worry, one day (working on it) I will start showing my face and posting more personal photos!Read More
This is for you. I know this Mother’s Day isn’t the one you hoped for. I know that you feel forgotten and alone. Unappreciated. Possibly even, invisible. Which is why I want you to know that I see you. I see how hard you work behind the scenes to keep that well-oiled machine of a family running (some days, simply squeaking by). I know how much thought, time and effort you put into caring for the ones you love the most. How you think about them, and their well-being all the time, even though it seems that they don’t notice.Read More
There are days when life just seems unfair. Being a Christian is hard and the payoff doesn’t seem to come fast enough. “You’re building your treasure in heaven!” they say or my favourite, “Give ten percent of everything to God and you’ll be blessed financially”. It isn’t that I don’t believe these things, I do. But my wallet? My wallet sometimes loses faith. I sit in church on Sundays and look because “Do I have money today?”… five dollars… six dollars… six dollars and twenty cents. I’ll give it all. Remember the story of the women who gave two cents and gave more than the rich man? I’ll be her.Read More
Lately, I've been talking a lot about children. As a Mom, my kids are really my number one "job". I wouldn't say they're my first priority because God and my husband do come before them (whoops! Sorry kiddos, but God is King and hubby will be around longer than you will!) but regardless, they are extremely important. Part of being a mom in a family affected by addiction means being hyper-sensitive to our children's needs. Not only are our kids dealing with the "normal" aspects of childhood (which is tough enough!) but they're living in a stressful home environment.Read More