Posts in Understanding Addiction
Addiction and the Average Girl

I fell into a marriage with addiction, by fall, I mean, fell head over heels. I didn't want to live a perfect life, and I loved the party. I have always found going to a bar to be more enjoyable than Bible study. When I was first introduced to drugs, I thought they were fantastic. Aside from the fact that my parents were going to kill me, for the first time in my life, I wasn't shrouded in insecurity. The alternative crowd, the everything-in-moderation mentality, the excitement of the rave- it made me feel like I could be myself; darkness and all. 

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Is My Spouse Drinking Too Much?

Two very different types of marital relationships need to be acknowledged when we're talking about alcohol; the first is a marriage that has not suffered the effects of addiction, the second has.

Before I met my husband, I had been in a few relationships. Ahem. None were like the one with my husband. For the purpose of this article, and so I don't confuse you, let's call them "typical" and "atypical" relationships.

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How Much Alcohol is Too Much Alcohol?

My husband battled drug addiction, but alcohol has run through the veins of almost every "addict" from the beginning, and I was not exactly "a good child.” You can read the mini-book here, “We're Not Okay: What every parent needs to know in a world full of drugs, drinking and, gasp! Sex.” It’s also available on Amazon if you’d like a hard copy.

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Why Do Good Girls Fall for Bad Boys?

Do you remember 10 Things I Hate About You? My 1990’s self soaked that up like nothing else. Angry girl bands. Cute guy with curly hair. Crop tops and sullen faces. Yes, I was all about it.

Explains a lot.

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How to Love Your Friend if Her Man is in Active Addiction

First and foremost, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17 NIV) If your friend’s husband is in active addition, this is definitely a time of adversity. This is going to be one of the hardest things she ever goes through. Supporting her and letting her know you’ve got her back is probably the thing she needs the most right now. Don’t just tell her you’re praying for her, but actually do it. Get on your knees and pray that God will give her strength and guidance because she’s going to need it. While you’re at it, pray for her husband too.

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How to Make Boundaries When Your Spouse is Boundary-less

According to Merriam Webster, a boundary is something that shows where an area ends and another area begins; a point or limit that indicates where two things become different.

Boundaries are then unofficial rules about what should not be done; limits that define acceptable behavior.

But when addiction takes root, boundaries become blurred, extended, trampled on, and unrecognizable. And the spouse of an addict can feel very disoriented and alone.

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Why We Need to Support a Loved One in their Mental Illness

Finding out you have a mental illness can be a tough pill to swallow. It can also provide relief and answers for those that have struggled with anxiety and depression.

“I’ve always felt like something in me is off, but it’s hard to explain”.

I remember hearing my husband speak those words to me a few times throughout the course of our marriage but I always brushed it off, “Everyone feels like that sometimes. I’m sure you’re fine” (I mean, we all have a little bit of crazy, right?!?).

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"Tough love is a very fine line" [Interview] Behind the Drugs

Hello, I’m Jen Underwood, a freelance writer. My friend, Jessie, has struggled with addiction and agreed to let me interview her in order to help others understand addiction. In talking with her, I feel God taught me something as well. Addicts don't want to be seen as addicts but for who they are beyond the addiction. On the other hand, my friend does not see her worth as I see her. She is the kind of soul that others gravitate toward.

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The Biggest Lie About Addiction (and why it's so dangerous!)

The truth shall set you free.

My husband says I’m pretty, down-to-earth, sweet and sometimes, a little bit offensive. Being true to myself, I’m going to go ahead and publish this article. 

I know this is a highly-criticized point of view but I'm going to say it anyway... The biggest (and most dangerous) lie about addiction is that it's a disease.

Addiction is not a disease. 

There. Said it.

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Why I Didn’t Leave My Husband “The Addict”

My husband is a good man. 

He and I met at a concert on New Year’s Eve and little did I know it at the time, but my life was about to dramatically change. We were married and I relocated to New York with my then, four-year-old son. For the most part, the change was slow and went mostly unnoticed. With moving and the excitement of the city, I was too preoccupied to see anything out of the ordinary about my marriage. It wasn’t until I became pregnant that I noticed my husband’s facade of lies start to crumble. 

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