Dear Diary: He's Going Back to Rehab

Dear Diary: He's Going Back to Rehab

The Grey Diaries is back! I can't believe we're this far in the story already. Mind you, I've jumped around a bit, skipping months in-between. There were both good and bad times in there but I want to hit the highlights of the story. 

As you may know by now, my husband was up and down with his struggle with addiction as most are. I don't have the words to explain to you how difficult the rollercoaster was but I know you already know. 

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Dear Diary: Sail Away With Me

Dear Diary: Sail Away With Me

I am so up and down emotionally. Sometimes, I feel bad for my husband because he has been broken. It's like he's a sinking ship of a human being. It isn’t his fault the ship hit a storm. It's also not his fault he doesn't have the know-how to repair his sinking vessel. On the other hand, he took the children and me onboard as passengers without first disclosing there was a giant hole in the ship. He painted a beautiful, sunny, blissful, dream-like picture of what our cruise would be like. We board the boat and BOOM! The storm hits.

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Have You Ever Wondered, "When is God Going to Bless Me Financially"?

Have You Ever Wondered, "When is God Going to Bless Me Financially"?

There are days when life just seems unfair. Being a Christian is hard and the payoff doesn’t seem to come fast enough. “You’re building your treasure in heaven!” they say or my favourite, “Give ten percent of everything to God and you’ll be blessed financially”. It isn’t that I don’t believe these things, I do. But my wallet? My wallet sometimes loses faith. I sit in church on Sundays and look because “Do I have money today?”… five dollars… six dollars… six dollars and twenty cents. I’ll give it all. Remember the story of the women who gave two cents and gave more than the rich man? I’ll be her. 

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Truths About a Child's Identity in Who They Want to Be

Truths About a Child's Identity in Who They Want to Be

Lately, I've been talking a lot about children. As a Mom, my kids are really my number one "job". I wouldn't say they're my first priority because God and my husband do come before them (whoops! Sorry kiddos, but God is King and hubby will be around longer than you will!) but regardless, they are extremely important. Part of being a mom in a family affected by addiction means being hyper-sensitive to our children's needs. Not only are our kids dealing with the "normal" aspects of childhood (which is tough enough!) but they're living in a stressful home environment.

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Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Today, I'm jumping ahead in my journals about a year. My husband had just gone to treatment and I was home alone, new baby, recommitting myself to God. I thought my righteous behaviour would somehow "save him", and therefore save my marriage, but it was the beginning of God saving me. Things were very hard that past year. I will likely go back and reveal those journals but for now, I'm here. Up until this point, I had been living in New York since 2013. For the past year, I had believed my husband was an alcoholic.

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Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Here we go again. I don't know if I'm ranting and rambling on or if my thoughts are some kind of trigger from warped perspective but regardless I have plenty to say. 

Here I am. New York City. Watching people chase their dreams while I sit idly by. What are you expected to do when you're doing nothing? Find something to do, right? Yet, I feel blocked, surrounded by invisible walls I likely created.

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How to Faithfully Deal with Chronic Insecurity

How to Faithfully Deal with Chronic Insecurity

Whack! Strikes of pain shot through my butt as we slammed into yet another pothole. I moaned softly, strained my neck against the window and lifted my eyes to the flaking roof of the van. When would we get there? Or rather, the more pertinent question: when was I going to get there? Emotionally, physically… spiritually. I sighed and turned my head to watch the billows of dust surface in our erratic wake. 

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When We're Abandoned by Adam: A Story of Strength

When We're Abandoned by Adam: A Story of Strength

One of the things I admire most about women is our natural ability to nurture. When a friend is in need, we’re there to help. When someone is struggling we have an innate ability to encourage and build them up with our God-given intuition; Women are graceful, beautiful, loving creatures.

God lovingly created Eve to be Adam’s perfect helper. God presented Eve to Adam like a gift and in every way, she complimented his strengths and weaknesses. He was proud of what He had made for His son.

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