When is the Right Time to Divorce an Addict?

The trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, they’re human beings that we care about or have a history with.

In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, “Intervention” (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they won’t go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.

As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see.

What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse. Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive. Knowing the difference is helpful. Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.

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Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself?

Tell me if this sounds like you,

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”.

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat!

Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

My Loved One Has an Addiction, What Can I Do?

This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to.

I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.

Top Five Books to Change Your Thinking While In a Crisis

When you have a loved one struggling with an addiction it can be really tough to find the right resources. There's a lot out there! Over the years, I've received both good and bad advice but every time I looked for help, the best advice usually found in books. That could be because I'm more comfortable reading a book than talking to a human being but with young kids, it can tough to find time to read!

You Can Love Your Child and Hate Their Substance Abuse

Blonde hair, blue eyes and a wealth of talent. She was my first born; Beautiful, funny, smart and excelled at anything she put her mind to from track and field, dance and figure skating. She had a beautiful voice and sang like an angel. She had the drive and determination of an Olympic athlete. She could have done anything she wanted but ended up doing none of the things she dreamed of because deep inside her lived a little girl who felt unworthy.

How to Faithfully Deal with Chronic Insecurity

Whack! Strikes of pain shot through my butt as we slammed into yet another pothole. I moaned softly, strained my neck against the window and lifted my eyes to the flaking roof of the van. When would we get there? Or rather, the more pertinent question: when was I going to get there? Emotionally, physically… spiritually. I sighed and turned my head to watch the billows of dust surface in our erratic wake.

How to Support a Friend Whose Loved One is an Addict

The best way to describe how it feels to have a loved one battling addiction is isolating.

It’s difficult to relate to other people because your life is chaotic and spinning around unhealthy, unpredictable behaviour. It’s hard to make commitments, like volunteering for church activities or children’s school trips, because you’re overwhelmed and never know what will happen from day to day.

FamilyLeahSeptember 8, 2016Leah GreyMarried to an Addict, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, my husband is an addict what do I do, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, married to a drug addict, being married to an addict, married to an addict in recovery, What to do when you love an addict, what it's like to love an addict, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families Comments

When the Happy Girl Gets an Anxiety Disorder

I never thought I would get anxiety.

Growing up, I was one of those bubbly, almost-always happy little girls who found delight in chasing lightning bugs and drinking fresh lemonade on the back deck. I had fear like any child, especially when faced with being apart from my parents overnight, but I tended to live my life cheerful and smiling.

Mental Health, Fear and AnxietyReeve CurrieAugust 8, 2016Grey Ministrieshow to live with a drug addicted spouse, what it's like to love an addict, What to do when you love an addict, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, my husband is an addict what do I do, married to an addict in recovery, Leah Grey, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, married to a drug addict, Married to an Addict, being married to an addict Comments

Practical Ways to Pray for Peace When You Have Anxiety

For the month of August, we’re going to be talking about anxiety and how to combat it God’s way. I’ll be grouping anxiety disorders in with “non-disorder” anxiety for the purposes of this article, even though I realize they’re very different but because spiritually-speaking, the treatment is the same.

To prepare for the month ahead, I want to start by laying down a very basic understanding of anxiety.

Mental Health, FaithLeahJuly 31, 2016Grey MinistriesMarried to an Addict, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, married to a drug addict, married to an addict in recovery, being married to an addict, my husband is an addict what do I do, Leah Grey, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, What to do when you love an addict, what it's like to love an addict Comments

The Biggest Lie About Addiction (and why it's so dangerous!)

The truth shall set you free.

My husband says I’m pretty, down-to-earth, sweet and sometimes, a little bit offensive. Being true to myself, I’m going to go ahead and publish this article.

I know this is a highly-criticized point of view but I'm going to say it anyway... The biggest (and most dangerous) lie about addiction is that it's a disease.

Addiction is not a disease.

There. Said it.

Faith, Controversial Subjects, Health, Understanding Addiction, ScienceLeahJune 20, 2016Grey MinistiresMarried to an Addict, being married to an addict, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, married to an addict in recovery, married to a drug addict, my husband is an addict what do I do, what it's like to love an addict, What to do when you love an addict, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, Leah Grey, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families Comments