Posts tagged being married to an addict
When is the Right Time to Leave an Addict? (Part One)

The trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, they’re human beings that we care about or have a history with. 

In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, “Intervention” (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they won’t go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.

As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see. 

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What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse.  Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive.  Knowing the difference is helpful.  Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.  

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Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself? 

Tell me if this sounds like you, 

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”. 

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat! 

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Does Your Spouse Have a Porn Addiction or Just a Bad Habit? The Difference Matters!

Before anyone gets upset with me for being insensitive, let me preempt this post by saying I know how much it hurts to have your spouse “cheat on you” with porn. It’s beyond awful. It makes us feel like dirt. We can’t stop thinking about it. We unwillingly compare ourselves to their internet history, “Large chest and big butt?! But I have a TINY chest and NO derriere… He must not like me” or, if you’re a man it may go more like, “I don’t have abs! Obviously, she thinks I’m fat too. No wonder she’s looking at porn. She’s probably having an affair too”.

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Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

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The Grey Diaries, MarriageLeah GreyGrey MinistriesChristian dealing with grief, christian with addiction, christian family support for addiction, christianity and addiction, christian blogger, christians drug addiction, children with addictions, Can Christians sin, christian wife of drug addict, child with substance abuse, christians and substance abuse, child has an addiction, christian wife dealing with alcoholic husband, Christian Women, my child is an addict, new christian bloggers, Addiction in the Church, modern christians, why does being a christian have to be so boring, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, Addiction is a Family Disease, a mothers story of her child's addiction, addiction recovery, addiction is ruining my marriage, addicted to starvation, daughter with an addiction, marriage and addiction, Married to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery, married to a drug addict, what it's like to love an addict, prayer for drug addicted husband, what does God say about drug addiction, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, leah grey and addiction, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what made my child an addict, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, What to do when you love an addict, mental illness and addiction in the church, being married to an addict, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, Christian rehab and treatment for addiction, Teen Challenge, Teen Challenge London, Teen Challenge Farm London, Teen Challenge Farm, Teen Challenge Men's Center, Recovery from addiction Comments
My Loved One Has an Addiction, What Can I Do?

This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to. 

I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.

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Marriage, Family, Mental HealthLeah GreyGrey MinistriesAddiction in the Church, addiction recovery, add, addicted to starvation, Addiction is a Family Disease, addiction is ruining my marriage, a mothers story of her child's addiction, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, daughter with an addiction, Married to an Addict, married to a drug addict, married to an addict in recovery, marriage and addiction, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, leah grey and addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, what does God say about drug addiction, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what it's like to love an addict, prayer for drug addicted husband, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, What to do when you love an addict, what made my child an addict, is addiction a disease?, mental illness and addiction in the church, kids and addiction, guilt and shame as the parent of an addict, my husband is an addict what do I do, christian wife of drug addict, christianity and addiction, child has an addiction, christian family support for addiction, christians drug addiction, christian with addiction, being married to an addict, wife of an addict blog, Wife of addict, how to deal with a drug addict husband, son with an addiction, mother of an addict, the grief a mother feels over her child's addiction or eating disorder, is it my fault my child is an addict, sibling of addiction, my child is an addict, children with addictions, help my child has an addiction, does God think addiction is a disease, why do kids get addicted to substances, recover from husband's addiction, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, Grieving mother over daughter's addiction, anxiety and insecurity, Finding Joy in Everything, christian blogger, christians and substance abuse, child with substance abuse, christian wife dealing with alcoholic husband Comments
Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Today, I'm jumping ahead in my journals about a year. My husband had just gone to treatment and I was home alone, new baby, recommitting myself to God. I thought my righteous behaviour would somehow "save him", and therefore save my marriage, but it was the beginning of God saving me. Things were very hard that past year. I will likely go back and reveal those journals but for now, I'm here. Up until this point, I had been living in New York since 2013. For the past year, I had believed my husband was an alcoholic.

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Top Five Books to Change Your Thinking While In a Crisis

When you have a loved one struggling with an addiction it can be really tough to find the right resources. There's a lot out there! Over the years, I've received both good and bad advice but every time I looked for help, the best advice usually found in books. That could be because I'm more comfortable reading a book than talking to a human being but with young kids, it can tough to find time to read! 

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FaithLeah GreyGrey Ministriesaddiction is ruining my marriage, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, addicted to starvation, addiction recovery, Addiction in the Church, Addiction is a Family Disease, a mothers story of her child's addiction, daughter with an addiction, Married to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery, married to a drug addict, marriage and addiction, what does God say about drug addiction, What to do when you love an addict, does God think addiction is a disease, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, what it's like to love an addict, prayer for drug addicted husband, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, leah grey and addiction, is addiction a disease?, mental illness and addiction in the church, kids and addiction, christians drug addiction, my husband is an addict what do I do, christian family support for addiction, christian with addiction, christianity and addiction, christian wife of drug addict, child has an addiction, being married to an addict, wife of an addict blog, Wife of addict, son with an addiction, how to deal with a drug addict husband, mother of an addict, sibling of addiction, children with addictions, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, recover from husband's addiction, be still and know, leah grey be still, christian blogger, new christian bloggers, awesome christian blogger, leah grey author Comments
You Can Love Your Child and Hate Their Substance Abuse

Blonde hair, blue eyes and a wealth of talent. She was my first born; Beautiful, funny, smart and excelled at anything she put her mind to from track and field, dance and figure skating. She had a beautiful voice and sang like an angel. She had the drive and determination of an Olympic athlete. She could have done anything she wanted but ended up doing none of the things she dreamed of because deep inside her lived a little girl who felt unworthy.

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Family, FaithJudy TomczakGrey Ministriesaddicted to starvation, Addiction in the Church, addiction recovery, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, addiction is ruining my marriage, Addiction is a Family Disease, married to a drug addict, marriage and addiction, Married to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery, what does God say about drug addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, leah grey and addiction, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, prayer for drug addicted husband, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, What to do when you love an addict, what it's like to love an addict, is addiction a disease?, kids and addiction, my husband is an addict what do I do, christian family support for addiction, christian wife of drug addict, christianity and addiction, christians drug addiction, being married to an addict, Wife of addict, wife of an addict blog, how to deal with a drug addict husband, sibling of addiction, does God think addiction is a disease, recover from husband's addiction, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, who is leah grey, what does God say about forgiveness, womens ministry, new christian bloggers, how to forgive someone, God will help us forgive, eating disorder, christian wife dealing with alcoholic husband, anxiety and insecurity, christian with addiction, children with addictions, a mothers story of her child's addiction, daughter with an addiction, son with an addiction, child has an addiction, mother of an addict, mental illness and addiction in the church Comments
Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Here we go again. I don't know if I'm ranting and rambling on or if my thoughts are some kind of trigger from warped perspective but regardless I have plenty to say. 

Here I am. New York City. Watching people chase their dreams while I sit idly by. What are you expected to do when you're doing nothing? Find something to do, right? Yet, I feel blocked, surrounded by invisible walls I likely created.

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How to Faithfully Deal with Chronic Insecurity

Whack! Strikes of pain shot through my butt as we slammed into yet another pothole. I moaned softly, strained my neck against the window and lifted my eyes to the flaking roof of the van. When would we get there? Or rather, the more pertinent question: when was I going to get there? Emotionally, physically… spiritually. I sighed and turned my head to watch the billows of dust surface in our erratic wake. 

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Dear Diary: It's Time For Me to Go

As moving day approaches I've been feeling my anxiety rear it's ugly head.

There are specific times in my life when I felt this way. I could tell you about each one in ridiculously accurate detail but I’ll spare the specifics. What I will say is that like all the other times I'm feeling panicky and seeing myself quick to anger, waking up irritable and becoming frustratingly clumsy. Why is it that you always have to stub your toe or get your shorts caught in the door when you’re already upset (Yes, that just happened!)??!! Anxiety is a terrible thing. 

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