Dear Diary: Life Lessons from the Word

Dear Diary: Life Lessons from the Word

Hey, there! Welcome back to my monthly series, The Grey Diaries. If this is your first time here, once a month I post excerpts from my real journals in an effort to share the transformation I have gone on through my husband's struggle with addiction (and all the challenges that came after!). 

This is important because at the end of the day, the real message of Grey Ministries is that God can give us joy in any circumstance.

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Dear Diary: He's Going Back to Rehab

Dear Diary: He's Going Back to Rehab

The Grey Diaries is back! I can't believe we're this far in the story already. Mind you, I've jumped around a bit, skipping months in-between. There were both good and bad times in there but I want to hit the highlights of the story. 

As you may know by now, my husband was up and down with his struggle with addiction as most are. I don't have the words to explain to you how difficult the rollercoaster was but I know you already know. 

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Dear Diary: I Fell Into a Burning Ring of Fire

Dear Diary: I Fell Into a Burning Ring of Fire

Have you watched the movie, Walk the Line? I feel like it needs a re-watch. June Carter wrote the song, "Ring of Fire" about her relationship with Johnny Cash, who had fallen deep into drugs and alcohol. The song hits me in every place. I understand it completely. 

One thing worth noting about their relationship was that Johnny Cash's life was saved first by love and second by faith.

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Dear Diary: Sweet, Girlfriend of an Addict

Dear Diary: Sweet, Girlfriend of an Addict
For the young girl I met during family visits to my husband in rehab~ 

“I hate glitter,” you said, “It always gets stuck under my nails”.

You told me you were there to see your friend. When you told me his story my heart broke for you. You said he was only your friend but you drove for hours to see him and went to two different restaurants just to find his favourite sandwich.

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Dear Diary: Lord, What Can I Do?

Dear Diary: Lord, What Can I Do?

The Grey Diaries is back! 

Looking back, I can see where there is the beginning of a seed of ministry. It's pretty cool because look at where God took this, today! Even in the midst of hard times, He is faithful. 

I know many of you have a desire to go into ministry. Speaking from my own experience, it's a healing experience to share your story with others and see how it helps them. If you're considering ministry and don't know what to do, or you're not ready to go public- please send me an email! hello@leahgrey.com

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Dear Diary: Sail Away With Me

Dear Diary: Sail Away With Me

I am so up and down emotionally. Sometimes, I feel bad for my husband because he has been broken. It's like he's a sinking ship of a human being. It isn’t his fault the ship hit a storm. It's also not his fault he doesn't have the know-how to repair his sinking vessel. On the other hand, he took the children and me onboard as passengers without first disclosing there was a giant hole in the ship. He painted a beautiful, sunny, blissful, dream-like picture of what our cruise would be like. We board the boat and BOOM! The storm hits.

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Dear Diary: It's Better than Prison

Dear Diary: It's Better than Prison

When I was younger, I used to love the book, "The Diary of Anne Frank". I have always felt that I talked to myself much in the same way. I have introspectively narrated my life story and to be very honest, I wonder what would have been said about it if it were someone else looking in, instead of my own perspective. I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes. However, I do believe I've been a good wife. A traumatized one, but a good one. 

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Dear Diary: Free From Condemnation and I Feel Fine

Dear Diary: Free From Condemnation and I Feel Fine

It’s the end of the day and I feel as though I’ve been writing in my head for weeks. I have so much to say and so many times I have wanted to write but I am waiting for the right moments so I can write with wisdom. It’s been a difficult day and evening. I can feel that Satan has been taunting me but I am persevering in the Lord. Part of my covenant resonated with me today, “...so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light”.

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Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

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Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Today, I'm jumping ahead in my journals about a year. My husband had just gone to treatment and I was home alone, new baby, recommitting myself to God. I thought my righteous behaviour would somehow "save him", and therefore save my marriage, but it was the beginning of God saving me. Things were very hard that past year. I will likely go back and reveal those journals but for now, I'm here. Up until this point, I had been living in New York since 2013. For the past year, I had believed my husband was an alcoholic.

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Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Here we go again. I don't know if I'm ranting and rambling on or if my thoughts are some kind of trigger from warped perspective but regardless I have plenty to say. 

Here I am. New York City. Watching people chase their dreams while I sit idly by. What are you expected to do when you're doing nothing? Find something to do, right? Yet, I feel blocked, surrounded by invisible walls I likely created.

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Dear Diary: It's Time For Me to Go

Dear Diary: It's Time For Me to Go

As moving day approaches I've been feeling my anxiety rear it's ugly head.

There are specific times in my life when I felt this way. I could tell you about each one in ridiculously accurate detail but I’ll spare the specifics. What I will say is that like all the other times I'm feeling panicky and seeing myself quick to anger, waking up irritable and becoming frustratingly clumsy. Why is it that you always have to stub your toe or get your shorts caught in the door when you’re already upset (Yes, that just happened!)??!! Anxiety is a terrible thing. 

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Dear Diary: I'm Moving to New York

Dear Diary: I'm Moving to New York

Thursday, June 20th, 2013

I saw a quote once in a magazine by Calista Flockhart that always stuck with me; she said, "The way the world underestimates me will be my greatest weapon". I could see how she would be underestimated. I'm certain throughout her school years she was skinny, small and likely awkward. With her baby-fine hair and her bird-like features she would of matured awkwardly into the uniquely beautiful woman she is today. 

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Weird Things You May Not Know About Me

Weird Things You May Not Know About Me

Hello, friends!

I always post "heavy" things so today I'm going to get personal in a happy way, and tell you some things about what makes me, me!

First things first, I’ve always pictured myself being a writer. I want a super-white home office. Also, I want to take my laptop and travel anywhere where there’s no snow in December... because I was born in CANADA... and I have an aversion to the cold. 

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