I sat there alone in the dark and prayed to a God I hadnāt spoken to in over 15 years.
I begged Him to answer my burning questions. Am I the only one who is so lost? Why did my husband drink so much? Why do I continually make so many wrong choices when it comes to marriage? Why did my dad die such a horrible death?
Read MoreI had a picture in my mind of what I wanted my marriage to look like. I didnāt realize this of course when I was married but rather, down the road when my husband was not meeting my undisclosed requirements for a happy marriage.
Things like sit-down family dinners, who would read the bedtime stories and what movies were appropriate for children were foundational points I assumed everyone felt the same way about. Was that not the typical "American Dream"? Happy, wholesome, "Leave It to Beaver", family-oriented togetherness? I couldn't fathom that seemingly-simple lifestyle would not be as important for someone else as it was for me.
Read MoreDear wife of the sex addict,
Good morning, sweet lady. Whatās good about it, though, right? Your whole world has been shaken, and youāre not even sure you can force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, much less agree that itās a āgoodā morning. I know.
Everything you once knew and everything you once treasured is just... gone. All that was sure is no longer sure and you donāt understand. You feel lost... broken... lonely.
Read MoreHello, Iām Jen Underwood, a freelance writer. My friend, Jessie, has struggled with addiction and agreed to let me interview her in order to help others understand addiction. In talking with her, I feel God taught me something as well. Addicts don't want to be seen as addicts but for who they are beyond the addiction. On the other hand, my friend does not see her worth as I see her. She is the kind of soul that others gravitate toward.
Read MorePreviously, we talked about making the decision to divorce a spouse struggling with addiction. One of the most devastating realities of addiction is having to let go of a marriage, but sometimes itās necessary for our survival and their well-being.
Read MoreThe trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, theyāre human beings that we care about or have a history with.
In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, āInterventionā (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they wonāt go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.
As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see.
Read MoreWeakness.
There is nothing I have ever experienced; not bullying, not divorce, not even addiction, that has made me feel more helpless than a panic attack. There is a moment where the waves of terror take over my body and hold my thoughts captive.
Though I know the panic attacks comes a resurgence of painful memories my body is the piece of me that loses control. In the midst of the attack, I can tell myself, āThis isnāt real, itās going to end, I will be able to breathe, everything is going to be okayā but I cannot convince my body to relax or find breath.
Read MoreLiving with a loved one in recovery is an entirely different thing than life in active addiction. Each season needs its own specific course of action and entirely different approach.When our loved ones are in active addiction everything from finances to their whereabouts is in question; "Who are they with? What are they doing? Why are they late? Who are they on the phone with? Why did they take their phone in the bathroom?"
Read MoreAddiction is an insatiable beast. Thereās really no way to sugarcoat this tragic reality. Once the beast of addiction has sunk its claws into its victim, everything begins to change. The sparkling person once full of life no longer has the light shining from their eyes. In its place is a dull and empty glaze. The person that was once present, caring and transparent has become elusive, angry, and numbed to reality.
Read MoreOne of the real dangers of staying in an abusive marriage is that abuse generally escalates. Boundaries are nudged, pushed, and eventually outright challenged so that you find yourself submitting to abuse that would once be unthinkable. Humans acclimate to a wide variety of situations, but in an abusive marriage, this adaptability comes eventually at a severe cost. The first time I truly realized I was in an abusive marriage was about nine years into the marriage. Before I used the word āabusiveā, I generally used the word ācontrollingā. No one likes to face the fact that they are abused.
Read MoreI can remember sitting in a women's group hearing the testimony of another woman thinking to myself, "How did she know my story?" As she described the abuse she endured, I became uncomfortable in my seat. Part of me wanted to run out of the meeting and the other part of me felt slightly relieved to know that I was not alone. I had buried the sexual abuse that I had been subjected to and acted as though it had never happened. I often told myself that if I didn't remember it, then it didn't happen. That thinking, unfortunately, did more damage than good both mentally and emotionally.
Read MoreWhile it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse. Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive. Knowing the difference is helpful. Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.
Read More
!["Tough love is a very fine line" [Interview] Behind the Drugs](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5665bab9e0327cb11c27c692/1509979531685-8T3X4TUSP0AP9U16Y0H4/Instagram-+Behind+the+Drugs.jpg)
