If You Don't Believe in Their Healing, Who Will?
“Once an addict, always an addict.” -Says Everyone
When I was looking for help to save my marriage (And save my husband's life) one of the things I kept getting told over and over again (And still hear often now!) was, “An addict is an addict for life” or, “It’ll never really get better, they’ll just be an addict in recovery”.
I was also told that there will be, “Slip-ups” and “Backslides”. People said over and over, “It’s going to take a long time for trust to be rebuilt” and how difficult it would be. When my husband finally agreed to go back into treatment and take responsibility for his recovery I was told, “The hard part is going to be when he comes home and gets back to the ‘real world’”.
Well... gee... thanks....?
With all those positive vibes going on, it was very hard not to get discouraged. If you're in the same situation, I suggest you put in your spiritual ear plugs and stop listening to those people because it's not helping you. While you're at it, tell the enemy to go steal someone else's hope!
I'm not saying you should ignore the nature of addiction, be full of positivity and put your head in the sand. Be informed. Educate yourself on the nature of addiction and how it works. I can't stress that enough. But, after you've thoroughly educated yourself in the world’s opinion, remind yourself what God promises. He is an extravagant and loving heavenly Father and he will not let us down. God promises us divine mercy, grace and salvation. Does that sound like a, "Once an addict, always an addict" mentality to you? No. Didn't think so!
It's so important to your loved one's healing you stay positive. Speak life! God will fix your hopelessmess when you start walking in hopefulness.
Thinking and believing, “Once an addict always an addict” is just discouraging nonsense Satan will use to destroy your hope and steal your loved one's life. Addict or not, we're all sinners and we're all in the same boat; Without God, we’re all lost.
I noticed a big change start in my husband when I realized his healing would start with my words and attitude (Big props to Jesus!). First of all, I didn't want to accept that my attitude could be a factor in his healing. He gets to act like a fool and I have to take the high road? How fair is that??!! Fair or not, it's impossible to walk in faith and trust God if we run around talking about how bad our problems are all the time.
If I Didn't Believe in Him, Who Would?
I decided to put my hope in happiness. God promised me the desires of my heart and it was my heart's desire to have a family and see the hurt in my husband healed. I began to pray for knowledge, wisdom and patience for myself and thanked the Lord for my husband. I refused to let Satan tell me that the man I love wasn't worth loving anymore... I hate to say it but it wasn't easy! My husband was a very difficult man to love sometimes but I chose to love him anyway.
And I'm so glad I did. I can see the fruit of my hope in him.
Is Hope Enough to Heal Them?
Hope is faith. There's a lot of discussion lately on how to "cure" addiction. Some say it's a disease that needs a cure [Wanna know what I say? Read: The Biggest Lie About Addiction (And why it's so dangerous!)], others say only a drug will stop the cravings they're so strong. The Creator, the One who MADE US says otherwise.
Love really is a choice. That doesn't just mean loving a spouse, we choose to love people. This is no different. Our loved ones have pain. They're broken. They've sinned. They've hurt us. Just as it's a choice for us to love them, it's a choice for them to choose recovery. If they're working on sobriety with a whole heart, then you need to work on love and trust in yours.
I challenge you try speaking in faith about your loved one, especially if you’re not convinced in what you’re saying. Whether it's your child, a parent, a friend, a brother, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, an uncle or your spouse... thank God for them. Your position of hopeful happiness will affect them, even if you can't see it right away. Plus, it'll make you feel better. I promise.
Examples of Speaking Life:
God has a calling on [name]’s life and His purpose will come to fulfillment
God uses all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), so it will be for [name]
[Name] is in the process of being healed because God said whatever we ask in His name is already done (John 14:13)
The more broken you are the bigger your ministry! [Name] must have a ministry
My prayers have created a barrier around [name] from the enemy, no evil can touch them
I will never lose faith for [name]'s healing, I serve a loving and faithful God
He is The Lord who heals (Exodus 15:26)
[Name] is an anointed [Son/Daughter] of God and The Lord will restore [him/her] to righteousness
I will walk in Faith and Hope today
I believe in mercy and forgiveness for [name]
I believe in healing for any pain [name] may have caused me
The enemy will NOT steal my life, my joy or my hope
I am a Child of God, a rightful heir to the throne and so is [name]
If you don’t believe what you’re saying, keep saying it. If you don’t see progress being made, keep believing it. If things get worse, don’t lose faith. If you've done your research, you know it's important for an addict to hit a point where they see happiness will only come from being sober. Hang onto your hope, it has to get worse before they’ll get better.
In the meantime, allow God to work out your own issues (This is tough stuff!) and strengthen your heart so you are happily resting in His peace. That’s right, happily resting. You can be happy. It's important that you continue to live despite what's happening with your loved one. If you need some support join the, "Live, Love, Hope" Community. It's a private community of women in exactly the same place as you. They get it. They know. And they'll be so happy to meet you!
So, can hope save a life? Yes. I have proof.