Posts in Faith
What Panic Attacks Have Taught Me About Strength

Weakness. 

There is nothing I have ever experienced; not bullying, not divorce, not even addiction, that has made me feel more helpless than a panic attack. There is a moment where the waves of terror take over my body and hold my thoughts captive.

Though I know the panic attacks comes a resurgence of painful memories my body is the piece of me that loses control. In the midst of the attack, I can tell myself, “This isn’t real, it’s going to end, I will be able to breathe, everything is going to be okay” but I cannot convince my body to relax or find breath.

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How to Have a Healthy Relationship in Addiction Recovery

Living with a loved one in recovery is an entirely different thing than life in active addiction. Each season needs its own specific course of action and entirely different approach.When our loved ones are in active addiction everything from finances to their whereabouts is in question; "Who are they with? What are they doing? Why are they late? Who are they on the phone with? Why did they take their phone in the bathroom?"

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Dear Diary: Think, "Big Picture"

Welcome back to The Grey Diaries! If you're new here, this is a monthly series where I share my real journal entries through this experience with you. It's also the best place to find personal photos of my life for a true "behind-the-scenes" look. Don't worry, one day (working on it) I will start showing my face and posting more personal photos! 

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Mama, Are You Lonely this Mother's Day?

Dear Mama,

This is for you. I know this Mother’s Day isn’t the one you hoped for. I know that you feel forgotten and alone. Unappreciated. Possibly even, invisible. Which is why I want you to know that I see you. I see how hard you work behind the scenes to keep that well-oiled machine of a family running (some days, simply squeaking by). I know how much thought, time and effort you put into caring for the ones you love the most. How you think about them, and their well-being all the time, even though it seems that they don’t notice. 

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If I Were the Devil
“We know [for a fact] that we are of God, and the whole world [around us] lies in the power of the evil one [opposing God and His precepts].”
-1 John 5:19 (AMP)
“Gone are the days when it was safe for kids to ride their bikes outside unsupervised and come home when the street lights turn on…. things were different back then.”

Have you heard anyone say that recently? I’ve heard it way too many times. Yes, things were different. Before the technological era and the media frenzy that have taken over the world, things were simpler. I can totally see it. But evil is the same as it was when it first met with mankind in the Garden of Eden as it says in the book of Genesis. Is Satan “gaining ground” on us? No. I would say he takes two steps forward and three steps back. We just happen to live in a “two steps forward” era. 

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Dear Diary: Free From Condemnation and I Feel Fine

It’s the end of the day and I feel as though I’ve been writing in my head for weeks. I have so much to say and so many times I have wanted to write but I am waiting for the right moments so I can write with wisdom. It’s been a difficult day and evening. I can feel that Satan has been taunting me but I am persevering in the Lord. Part of my covenant resonated with me today, “...so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light”.

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How One Heroin Addict's Death Led Two Hundred Souls to Jesus

As many of you know, I recently moved from Canada back to the USA. Same general area, different community. This time, I’m lucky enough to call the ever-popular Hillsong Church my family’s home church. It’s pretty cool, I have to say. If you ever get the opportunity to attend a Hillsong service, I highly recommend it. One of the things I love the most about the church is tho opens and welcoming attitude of the patrons. Everyone comes as they are. A big sign at the front says, “Welcome Home” and you’re invited in with smiles, jeans and a lot of really, great music.

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Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Today, I'm jumping ahead in my journals about a year. My husband had just gone to treatment and I was home alone, new baby, recommitting myself to God. I thought my righteous behaviour would somehow "save him", and therefore save my marriage, but it was the beginning of God saving me. Things were very hard that past year. I will likely go back and reveal those journals but for now, I'm here. Up until this point, I had been living in New York since 2013. For the past year, I had believed my husband was an alcoholic.

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God Gave Us a Spirit of Power, Love and Sound Mind (So, why am I freaking out?!)

"You're not listening to me!” 

“No, you don’t understand.”

“Can you put yourself in my shoes for just three [Un-Christian word] seconds?!”

“Ah! Never mind! I don’t even know why I try explaining to you, it’s useless!”

These are the things I find myself saying to my husband over and over again. As he fumbles and bumbles and tries to understand my range of complex emotions stemming from childhood wounds to the scars from our relationship to the present situation. He doesn’t know what to say and I know it.

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FaithLeah GreyGrey Ministriesaddiction is ruining my marriage, Addiction is a Family Disease, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, addiction recovery, Addiction in the Church, married to a drug addict, Married to an Addict, marriage and addiction, daughter with an addiction, married to an addict in recovery, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, leah grey and addiction, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what does God say about drug addiction, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, what it's like to love an addict, is addiction a disease?, What to do when you love an addict, mental illness and addiction in the church, prayer for drug addicted husband, christian wife of drug addict, christianity and addiction, christian wife dealing with alcoholic husband, christians drug addiction, christian blogger, Christian Women, christian family support for addiction, christian with addiction, new christian bloggers, awesome christian blogger, recover from husband's addiction, forgiveness, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, how to forgive someone, God will help us forgive, leah grey, leah grey author, leah grey be still, sibling of addiction, Finding Joy in Everything, Wife of addict, wife of an addict blog, mother of an addict, humans of new york, what does God say about forgiveness, anxiety and insecurity, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, what does the bible say about fear, what does the bible say about anxiety, how do i trust God Comments
Top Five Books to Change Your Thinking While In a Crisis

When you have a loved one struggling with an addiction it can be really tough to find the right resources. There's a lot out there! Over the years, I've received both good and bad advice but every time I looked for help, the best advice usually found in books. That could be because I'm more comfortable reading a book than talking to a human being but with young kids, it can tough to find time to read! 

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FaithLeah GreyGrey Ministriesaddiction is ruining my marriage, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, addicted to starvation, addiction recovery, Addiction in the Church, Addiction is a Family Disease, a mothers story of her child's addiction, daughter with an addiction, Married to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery, married to a drug addict, marriage and addiction, what does God say about drug addiction, What to do when you love an addict, does God think addiction is a disease, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, what it's like to love an addict, prayer for drug addicted husband, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, leah grey and addiction, is addiction a disease?, mental illness and addiction in the church, kids and addiction, christians drug addiction, my husband is an addict what do I do, christian family support for addiction, christian with addiction, christianity and addiction, christian wife of drug addict, child has an addiction, being married to an addict, wife of an addict blog, Wife of addict, son with an addiction, how to deal with a drug addict husband, mother of an addict, sibling of addiction, children with addictions, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, recover from husband's addiction, be still and know, leah grey be still, christian blogger, new christian bloggers, awesome christian blogger, leah grey author Comments
You Can Love Your Child and Hate Their Substance Abuse

Blonde hair, blue eyes and a wealth of talent. She was my first born; Beautiful, funny, smart and excelled at anything she put her mind to from track and field, dance and figure skating. She had a beautiful voice and sang like an angel. She had the drive and determination of an Olympic athlete. She could have done anything she wanted but ended up doing none of the things she dreamed of because deep inside her lived a little girl who felt unworthy.

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Family, FaithJudy TomczakGrey Ministriesaddicted to starvation, Addiction in the Church, addiction recovery, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, addiction is ruining my marriage, Addiction is a Family Disease, married to a drug addict, marriage and addiction, Married to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery, what does God say about drug addiction, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, leah grey and addiction, what does the bible say about addiction as a disease, what does the bible say about addiction and divorc, prayer for drug addicted husband, what does the bible say about drug addiction and m, What to do when you love an addict, what it's like to love an addict, is addiction a disease?, kids and addiction, my husband is an addict what do I do, christian family support for addiction, christian wife of drug addict, christianity and addiction, christians drug addiction, being married to an addict, Wife of addict, wife of an addict blog, how to deal with a drug addict husband, sibling of addiction, does God think addiction is a disease, recover from husband's addiction, how to live with a drug addicted spouse, who is leah grey, what does God say about forgiveness, womens ministry, new christian bloggers, how to forgive someone, God will help us forgive, eating disorder, christian wife dealing with alcoholic husband, anxiety and insecurity, christian with addiction, children with addictions, a mothers story of her child's addiction, daughter with an addiction, son with an addiction, child has an addiction, mother of an addict, mental illness and addiction in the church Comments
Get the Fairytale Ending You Need to Succeed

Every young girl dreams her own fairytale. Though each story is different we do all want the same thing. It isn’t that we all dream of being saved by princes, that’s not the case at all. What we really dream of is being the confident heroine of our story, admired for our inner strength, beauty and wisdom. We want to love and be loved. 

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