Some might think that title is scandalous. I know that my own fear of divorce kept me from escaping a narcissistic abuser for fourteen years. Now, seventeen years out from that disaster, my regrets center around not leaving far earlier. I lived in a lot of denial for years. One has to cultivate denial in order to survive, much less stay, in a marriage that was as abusive as mine. And just how abusive it was, did not fully dawn on me until I disclosed, ten years later, details of the torment to my counselor. The look of horror and grief on her face showed me just how far from normal my first marriage had strayed.Read More
Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself?
Tell me if this sounds like you,
“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”.
And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat!Read More
“We know [for a fact] that we are of God, and the whole world [around us] lies in the power of the evil one [opposing God and His precepts].”
“Gone are the days when it was safe for kids to ride their bikes outside unsupervised and come home when the street lights turn on…. things were different back then.”
Have you heard anyone say that recently? I’ve heard it way too many times. Yes, things were different. Before the technological era and the media frenzy that have taken over the world, things were simpler. I can totally see it. But evil is the same as it was when it first met with mankind in the Garden of Eden as it says in the book of Genesis. Is Satan “gaining ground” on us? No. I would say he takes two steps forward and three steps back. We just happen to live in a “two steps forward” era.Read More
If you’re reading this right now, you might be one of the many of us whose spouse struggles with a pornography addiction.
Addiction is a term we’re using often nowadays, “Addicted to video games”, “Addicted to food”, “Addicted to tanning”, “Addicted to sugar”. But what’s the difference between a true addiction, an obsession, a bad habit or a compulsion? And why does it matter what we call it, isn’t it all the same if it’s hurting your marriage?"Read More
Before anyone gets upset with me for being insensitive, let me preempt this post by saying I know how much it hurts to have your spouse “cheat on you” with porn. It’s beyond awful. It makes us feel like dirt. We can’t stop thinking about it. We unwillingly compare ourselves to their internet history, “Large chest and big butt?! But I have a TINY chest and NO derriere… He must not like me” or, if you’re a man it may go more like, “I don’t have abs! Obviously, she thinks I’m fat too. No wonder she’s looking at porn. She’s probably having an affair too”.Read More
This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to.
I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.Read More
Whack! Strikes of pain shot through my butt as we slammed into yet another pothole. I moaned softly, strained my neck against the window and lifted my eyes to the flaking roof of the van. When would we get there? Or rather, the more pertinent question: when was I going to get there? Emotionally, physically… spiritually. I sighed and turned my head to watch the billows of dust surface in our erratic wake.Read More
Every young girl dreams her own fairytale. Though each story is different we do all want the same thing. It isn’t that we all dream of being saved by princes, that’s not the case at all. What we really dream of is being the confident heroine of our story, admired for our inner strength, beauty and wisdom. We want to love and be loved.Read More
What's My Family Member's Life Like?
The best way to describe how it feels to have a loved one battling addiction is: isolating.
It’s hard to relate to other people because your life is chaotic and spinning around an unhealthy, unpredictable person. It’s hard to make commitments, like volunteering for church activities or children’s school trips, because you’re overwhelmed and never know what will happen from day to day. Going to work to deal with a whole other set of problems can be a relief if you get yourself motivated to go but some days, it’s too much to handle.Read More
I never thought I would get anxiety.
Growing up, I was one of those bubbly, almost-always happy little girls who found delight in chasing lightning bugs and drinking fresh lemonade on the back deck. I had fear like any child, especially when faced with being apart from my parents overnight, but I tended to live my life cheerful and smiling.Read More
For the month of August, we’re going to be talking about anxiety and how to combat it God’s way. I’ll be grouping anxiety disorders in with “non-disorder” anxiety for the purposes of this article, even though I realize they’re very different but because spiritually-speaking, the treatment is the same.
To prepare for the month ahead, I want to start by laying down a very basic understanding of anxiety.Read More
Don’t rush, no pressure.
Everyone who knows me well, knows I love Justin Bieber. I’m sorry if you just lost all respect for me but I'm Canadian so I’m going to claim ignorance. The Biebs has gotten wiser in his trials and there’s some real nuggets of wisdom in his songs (albeit grammatical errors but wisdom nonetheless). One of my favourites is, “You ain’t gotta make your mind up right now, don’t rush, no pressure”.Read More