Dear Diary: It's Better than Prison

Dear Diary: It's Better than Prison

When I was younger, I used to love the book, "The Diary of Anne Frank". I have always felt that I talked to myself much in the same way. I have introspectively narrated my life story and to be very honest, I wonder what would have been said about it if it were someone else looking in, instead of my own perspective. I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes. However, I do believe I've been a good wife. A traumatized one, but a good one. 

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Dear Diary: Free From Condemnation and I Feel Fine

Dear Diary: Free From Condemnation and I Feel Fine

It’s the end of the day and I feel as though I’ve been writing in my head for weeks. I have so much to say and so many times I have wanted to write but I am waiting for the right moments so I can write with wisdom. It’s been a difficult day and evening. I can feel that Satan has been taunting me but I am persevering in the Lord. Part of my covenant resonated with me today, “...so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light”.

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Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

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Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Dear Diary: A New Covenant Begins

Today, I'm jumping ahead in my journals about a year. My husband had just gone to treatment and I was home alone, new baby, recommitting myself to God. I thought my righteous behaviour would somehow "save him", and therefore save my marriage, but it was the beginning of God saving me. Things were very hard that past year. I will likely go back and reveal those journals but for now, I'm here. Up until this point, I had been living in New York since 2013. For the past year, I had believed my husband was an alcoholic.

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Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Dear Diary: Wall to Wall

Here we go again. I don't know if I'm ranting and rambling on or if my thoughts are some kind of trigger from warped perspective but regardless I have plenty to say. 

Here I am. New York City. Watching people chase their dreams while I sit idly by. What are you expected to do when you're doing nothing? Find something to do, right? Yet, I feel blocked, surrounded by invisible walls I likely created.

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Dear Diary: It's Time For Me to Go

Dear Diary: It's Time For Me to Go

As moving day approaches I've been feeling my anxiety rear it's ugly head.

There are specific times in my life when I felt this way. I could tell you about each one in ridiculously accurate detail but I’ll spare the specifics. What I will say is that like all the other times I'm feeling panicky and seeing myself quick to anger, waking up irritable and becoming frustratingly clumsy. Why is it that you always have to stub your toe or get your shorts caught in the door when you’re already upset (Yes, that just happened!)??!! Anxiety is a terrible thing. 

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Dear Diary: I'm Moving to New York

Dear Diary: I'm Moving to New York

Thursday, June 20th, 2013

I saw a quote once in a magazine by Calista Flockhart that always stuck with me; she said, "The way the world underestimates me will be my greatest weapon". I could see how she would be underestimated. I'm certain throughout her school years she was skinny, small and likely awkward. With her baby-fine hair and her bird-like features she would of matured awkwardly into the uniquely beautiful woman she is today. 

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Weird Things You May Not Know About Me

Weird Things You May Not Know About Me

Hello, friends!

I always post "heavy" things so today I'm going to get personal in a happy way, and tell you some things about what makes me, me!

First things first, I’ve always pictured myself being a writer. I want a super-white home office. Also, I want to take my laptop and travel anywhere where there’s no snow in December... because I was born in CANADA... and I have an aversion to the cold. 

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