Lately, I've been doing a lot of reading. A few of the things I've read have been voiced as Jesus writing to us. Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, is a beautiful devotional that has helped me tremendously in finding peace in the every day and a quiet moment to hang onto. My friend Christine, a fellow blogger, has a lovely course coming out about children and teaching them how to use Godly principles online and one of the bonuses for signing up is written from Jesus- to us (I'll post when her course launches, it's going to be awesome for parents!).
The point is, Jesus talks to us. We will hear amazing, healing, wonderful things if we're willing to listen.
Today is Mother's Day.
Amidst forgotten birthdays and missed Mother's Days, I can confidently say I have not always had the best Mother's Day experience. Addicts are notoriously self-centered and Mother's Day is all about honouring someone else. Have you had these "special days" with your loved one? Have they more than missed the mark and occasionally, missed the day? Leave me a comment below, I would love to hear from you!
I may not have always had the best day (albeit, they have improved through the years in sobriety!!! Have hope!) but I have always had the best mother.
My mom... she is special.
In so many ways, we're not alike yet, we are mirror images of each other. While she is friendly, lighthearted and chatty, I am introverted, emotional and serious. A "free-spirit" my dad calls her. Which is not the word one would use to describe me as I enjoy planning, rules, organization and routine. But no one understands me like she does. I was reminded of this yesterday as I tried to talk to my husband about something that was weighing on my heart. I had previously discussed it with my mom who got it immediately. In fact, she sorted out my feelings before I was able to make sense of them. My husband? Well... he tries his best to understand!
My mother is wonderful. When I was younger I can remember a time I once told her that I wanted to grow up not to be anything like her. Stuck in her small town, with her small town job, and unaccomplished life. Those are likely not the exact words I used but that's absolutely what I said.
Typical girl, I was so wrong about my mom. Her heart is bigger than her hair and I love her to pieces. I could never begin to repay her for all the times she has listened to me, calmed me down, bailed me out, helped me with my babies, enriched my life and truly, just been there. She's a rock. In her small town, with her small town life and her small town job, her and my father laid a rock-solid foundation of unconditional love for our family.
How do you ever repay someone for giving you their entire life?
And to continue on with that, it's hard to be a great mom, the kind of excellent mom we see on T.V. (or like we had growing up) when we have a loved one struggling with addiction. The weight of being an excellent mother can be tirelessly exhausting. The emotional strain and forced smiles, "Everything is okay, honey" can be difficult, to say the least.
Today is a day to celebrate mothers but I know that not all of you will get the celebration you deserve. If you're that lonely mom on this joyful Mother's Day, I want you to know that though it's hard, it is worth it. I have a quote on my bathroom wall that says:
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and forget the ones that don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
How do you think Jesus feels about you on this Mother's Day, Mama? How appreciated are you? How cared for? How respected? Whether the people in your life are able to honour you in the way you deserve or not, I want you to know that there is a party going on in heaven for you. A celebration for how amazing you are. In each sad and lonely moment, under the heaviness of frustration and overwhelm, Jesus is there. He has always been there.
This is what He says to you.
This is for you. I know this Mother’s Day isn’t the one you hoped for. I know that you feel forgotten and alone. Unappreciated. Possibly even, invisible. Which is why I want you to know that I see you. I see how hard you work behind the scenes to keep that well-oiled machine of a family running (some days, simply squeaking by). I know how much thought, time and effort you put into caring for the ones you love the most. How you think about them, and their well-being all the time, even though it seems that they don’t notice.
Dear Mama, I have seen you cry. I have been there with you in the washroom as you knelt on the floor and poured your heart out, sobbing, “When will things get better?”. I have felt every teardrop fall and I have washed them away. You did not notice that you were crying on my shoulder. My hair soaked up your tears, my strong arms supported you from falling. I wept with you. I wept for every word that has been spoken to you that devalued your self-worth. I wept for every time that you were left carrying the weight of your family. I wept for all the nights you were left alone.
I called out to you, but you did not hear me.
Dear Mama, I know today is not what you wanted. I can see you want to give up hope, for it seems that no one will honour you the way they honoured her. Gifts, a home-cooked meal, hand-made cards and flowers? Well… they’re not all they’re cracked up to be. “It’s the thought behind it that means something to me” you say. And I know. But you are so loved. So cared about. So valued. So precious. So wanted. So needed.
Words and actions will never come close to validating how very wonderful you are.
Mama, I love you. I am here for you. I have been anxiously waiting for you to notice me. I will fill your days with so much joy, you won’t remember what it was like to feel empty. You and I were always made to be in relationship with each other. I am your other half. I am your Fulfiller. I am your Lover and your validation, Mama, you are worthy. You are a good daughter and a most excellent mother.
I am so very proud of you.
Happy Mother’s Day, My most beautiful one,