Posts tagged addiction is ruining my marriage
One Woman's Inspiring Testimony of Addiction Recovery

Hello! Could you please tell us your name and where you’re from?

Hi! I'm Mariah Freeman and I am from upstate New York but now live in southern VA.

We met through a Facebook group and I instantly connected with you on account of your story. Could you touch on that for us?

Yes! So blessed to bump into you there:) I am very open about my story, so sharing with the group was really fulfilling for me. So glad you stopped to listen and then we connected shortly after that.

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God's Daughters are Main Character Material… (can I get an, "Amen?!")

Once upon a time...

There was a girl. Her beautiful spirit and tender heart were qualities bestowed upon her by the King Himself. Like a rare bird, she soared through life never knowing what the day would bring nor worrying about it either.

She was free. 

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Letting Go of the Dream of Partnership in a Marriage Affected by Addiction

I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted my marriage to look like. I didn’t realize this of course when I was married but rather, down the road when my husband was not meeting my undisclosed requirements for a happy marriage.

Things like sit-down family dinners, who would read the bedtime stories and what movies were appropriate for children were foundational points I assumed everyone felt the same way about. Was that not the typical "American Dream"? Happy, wholesome, "Leave It to Beaver", family-oriented togetherness? I couldn't fathom that seemingly-simple lifestyle would not be as important for someone else as it was for me.  

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Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself? 

Tell me if this sounds like you, 

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”. 

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat! 

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Dear Diary: Sail Away With Me

I am so up and down emotionally. Sometimes, I feel bad for my husband because he has been broken. It's like he's a sinking ship of a human being. It isn’t his fault the ship hit a storm. It's also not his fault he doesn't have the know-how to repair his sinking vessel. On the other hand, he took the children and me onboard as passengers without first disclosing there was a giant hole in the ship. He painted a beautiful, sunny, blissful, dream-like picture of what our cruise would be like. We board the boat and BOOM! The storm hits.

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Five Things I Want to Share about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

When I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I was relieved that there was a name for my nightmare. Though, not all who have been through trauma and know the effects of it feel this way. My husband, who also suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, was not as pleased as I to receive his diagnosis. My proactive nature read my “label” and determined to do the work for resolution. My husband, however, said he was fine and had more of an, “I won’t think about it and therefore it won’t affect me” approach.

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Dear Diary: It's Better than Prison

When I was younger, I used to love the book, "The Diary of Anne Frank". I have always felt that I talked to myself much in the same way. I have introspectively narrated my life story and to be very honest, I wonder what would have been said about it if it were someone else looking in, instead of my own perspective. I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes. However, I do believe I've been a good wife. A traumatized one, but a good one. 

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Why Calling Porn Use An Addiction Can Sometimes Make It Worse

If you’re reading this right now, you might be one of the many of us whose spouse struggles with a pornography addiction.

Addiction is a term we’re using often nowadays, “Addicted to video games”, “Addicted to food”, “Addicted to tanning”, “Addicted to sugar”. But what’s the difference between a true addiction, an obsession, a bad habit or a compulsion? And why does it matter what we call it, isn’t it all the same if it’s hurting your marriage?"

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Does Your Spouse Have a Porn Addiction or Just a Bad Habit? The Difference Matters!

Before anyone gets upset with me for being insensitive, let me preempt this post by saying I know how much it hurts to have your spouse “cheat on you” with porn. It’s beyond awful. It makes us feel like dirt. We can’t stop thinking about it. We unwillingly compare ourselves to their internet history, “Large chest and big butt?! But I have a TINY chest and NO derriere… He must not like me” or, if you’re a man it may go more like, “I don’t have abs! Obviously, she thinks I’m fat too. No wonder she’s looking at porn. She’s probably having an affair too”.

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Dear Diary: Free From Condemnation and I Feel Fine

It’s the end of the day and I feel as though I’ve been writing in my head for weeks. I have so much to say and so many times I have wanted to write but I am waiting for the right moments so I can write with wisdom. It’s been a difficult day and evening. I can feel that Satan has been taunting me but I am persevering in the Lord. Part of my covenant resonated with me today, “...so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light”.

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Forgiveness, A Gift that Sets the Giver Free

There she sat next to me in the pew. This time her recovery included a commitment to go back to church. I fought hard to no avail to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks. My emotions were running high as she sat there as tangible proof of an answer to so many prayers. I didn't know then, that it wasn't going to last but I remember so vividly what God showed me that day.

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Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

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